Writing An Ode: Ode To Moon
Dear Moon,
Everytime
when I return from the library or the computer room at night, I can see you in
the dark and wide sky. you are so beautiful that I can't resist the temptation
to see you.
You
are shiny like new shoes. You are shiny like a yellow marble. Everybody thinks
that you are beautiful like a yellow butterfly.
But
I know you decorated yourself with the light since you don't want to let others
know that you're actually very stupid and ugly. You don't want to let them see
your humble face with too many craters.
You don't want to let them see your face with strange colors. You don't want to
let them realize that you are actually not that beautiful and not that shiny.
You are afraid that if you show them your real face, they come to dislike or
make fun of you.
But,
don't worry. They don't bother whether or not you are beautiful. Your
appearance is not important.The most important thing is that 'you are you'.
Tremendous amount of things and creatures with different appearance, different
characteristics and different features exist in the universe. But there is
no one that can replace you. You are very important. People will like you even
if you are not shiny and beautiful, I guarantee you.
Have some confidence on your appearance. Don't be shy. Please show us real you. You are nice and great even without the plastic surgery.
Great use of vocabulary and detailed descriptions! I really liked how you try to describe the Moon's feeling from being ugly, which a very interesting approach to writing an ode to the Moon. There are minor mistakes such as leaving out "the" but overall, it's well written. Keep up the good work!
답글삭제Thank you! I'll try to correct the mistake you pointed out. Have a nice weekend!
삭제I really like your descriptive writing. It really shows how thoroughly you observed the moon and found it beautiful and fascinating. Your appreciation of moon certainly appears in this essay. You are such a good writer.
답글삭제I, however, want to fix this mistake.
Tremendous amount of things and creatures with different appearance, different characteristics and different features are exist(x) -> exist(0) in the universe.
you don't use "be exist" just "exist" is okay.
Still you're good, so I hope you write more to get rid of such mistakes.
Thank you for your comment. I corrected the mistake you mentioned. Thank you for correcting the big mistake and have a nice day!
삭제Wonderful writing Uzin! Glad to see you are replying to the handsome TA's above and fixing the mistakes.
답글삭제I never thought of the moon as being ugly, but you are right - it does have a face full of craters. Plastic surgery for the moon? Very imaginative.:)
Thank you for your praise! In fact, I wrote this ode for not only moon but also the adolescents and adults who want to get plastic surgeries. Thank you and see you tomorrow in the writing class!
삭제Great! I really enjoyed your work. Minor grammatical mistakes and some awkward sentences are there, but still, I really liked your ode because you aren't just using generic terms such as "beautiful", but you are also using other terms such as "you as yourself" or "humble face". Also I liked it when you tried not to repeat same expression many times. Keep up the good work:)
답글삭제Thank you! And when it comes to the mistakes, I didn't notice them when I was writing the ode because I'm not good at English grammer. But, I will try to correct them. Good night and see you tomorrow!
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